Jessica Janzen - Bring The Joy

In this heartfelt conversation, Robin and Jessica Janzen explore the themes of love, joy, and resilience. Jessica opens up about her journey through grief during and after losing her son, Lewiston, and how she made the powerful choice to embrace joy amidst the sorrow. Drawing from her experiences as a motivational speaker, she highlights the importance of trusting intuition, the power of community, and how giving and receiving support can transform life’s most difficult moments. They also discuss Jessica's book, Bring The Joy, where she illustrates how simple acts of kindness—from both friends and strangers—brought her family renewed strength during their hardest times. This conversation reminds us of the power of human connection and the strength found in community.

Takeaways:

• Joy can coexist with grief.
• Following your heart's nudges is essential.
• Community support can transform experiences.
• Resilience is key in relationships.
• Perspective shifts can change everything.
• Celebrating joy is a choice we can make.
• It's important to receive help from others.
• Living a life of service brings fulfillment.
• Gratitude can be a default setting.
• Personal growth often comes from challenges.

We want to hear from you! Send us your anonymous questions for the Podcast as well as our weekly IG Live Ask The Experts Q&A. https://realloveready.com/submitaquestion

Links:

https://jessicajanzen.ca/coaching

https://www.loveforlewiston.com/

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/194978441X?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_7STBGZA1XKJ3G60J10RV

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Watch the podcast on YouTube: youtube.com/realloveready

Credits: the Let’s Talk Love Podcast is hosted by Robin Ducharme, recorded and edited by Maia Anstey, and transcribed by Otter.ai.

Transcript

Robin Ducharme | Hello everyone, and welcome to Let's Talk Love. Today we're going to be talking so much about love and joy and miracles, so many I'm so excited about this conversation. Jessica, oh,  so today we've got Jessica Janzen, Jessica, I love you so much, and I'm just so glad that we are going to be spending this time together today.

Jessica Janzen l Praying that all the tech gods come together. I am so excited, because it's so hilarious how this is like, come full circle, and then how we're connecting.

Robin Ducharme | I know so So Jessica, you I'm just introduce you, because look at you. You on your under your name. You've got speaker, joy starter, coach. You are a published author, a motivational speaker, and you're just such a beautiful, incredible human being. 

Jessica Janzen l That such 

Robin Ducharme | Like, yes, you are.

Jessica Janzen l Heck yeah, pump my own tires. Here we go.

Robin l Oh my goodness. So Jessica, we first met in 2000 I was trying to think of the the year here, because it was 2017 I think it was, and we both attended the Rise Conference in Pridis, that was awesome. Yeah, it really was back in Pridisi Alberta. You were, you were pregnant, I believe,

Jessica l Yeah, it would have been 2018 I would have been pregnant or, 

Robin l Yeah

Jessica l Yeah, something like that. Crazy.

Robin l I think, I think it was, and we sat next to each other, okay. And we were, I was leaving this. You may not remember this. Jess kay, 

Jessica l I don't thanks for the brain check

Robin l I know, but that's okay, because you don't like we didn't really like we. We didn't we didn't become friends at that moment, right? But we did sit next to each other during one of the talks, and we were driving, so I was leaving with my best friends going to the hotel that night, and my friend Danelle was telling me your story. Okay. She so she was telling me about Lewiston and the Lewiston Foundation, and because we're from Calgary, I'm from Calgary, great. And you're a Calgary girl, so I mean, I You're from Winnipeg, but then moved

Jessica l Down here, yeah 

Robin l So, and then we were booking you for the podcast, and then my mom sends me that text message with a picture of you, the two of you sitting on her deck in Mexico. And she's like, guess who I with? I'm like, what

Jessica l So crazy? Because you had just hosted your conference, and my friend Dr Jody Carrington was speaking at it. I was like, 

Robin l Exactly

Jessica l You had Dr. Gabor Mate like, you had this insane lineup. I'm like, wow, this looked insane. And we were on a family vacation. I've met your mom several times because she vacations where my in laws vacation, and somehow we got talking, and then she went talking about her daughter. And I was like, what does your daughter do? And she's like, she has this podcast, and she runs all these insane conferences. I was like, wait a second, this all sounds too familiar. And I'm like, pulling up my emails, and we're talking, I'm like, I'm gonna be on her podcast. We've just been here, like, back and forth, and we snapped a picture and sent it to you. I was like, What are the chances? 

Robin l No but this is how, this is how the universe works in so many beautiful, miraculous ways. Jessica, like, I just, I love the synchronicities and how, like, we are meant to we're obviously, we're meant to meet. And I read okay, so I'm just, I just want to say how incredibly grateful I am for this time. I really I mean that with my my whole heart, and you are doing so many incredible things with your life and in a life of service, and you're helping so many people. I loved your book. I'm holding it up because this is a book that I have been talking about all week. I read it all weekend, and my daughter was coming in and out of the off my we've got this little reading nook. It's the best. And I'm crying, I'm laughing as I'm reading it, like, really, like I was like, it was just so good. Jess, I hope you're getting, like, so much praise. Are you so so proud of your book?

Jessica l I love that. I think it's I wrote it like the way I would tell a story to somebody in person 

Robin l Yes 

Jessica l And and so when I get feedback, which I'm, like, so excited to write my next book, because people are like, oh my gosh, I loved reading it. I mean, there's like, the odd bad review on Goodreads, and, you know, some hater on Amazon, but we've received such incredible feedback. And I think it's because people can find themselves in some of the stories, 

Robin l Yes

Jessica l And it's maybe not the second thing that happened to them, but they're like, Oh, I remember my my Costa Rican lover, or I remember this drummer. I remember being faced with these things. And I think it walks the reader through all of those moments that you're actually pretty pivotal, and reminds them that there is joy in that. And that was my whole hope of like, hey, you've weathered a bunch of storms like you have the evidence that you can not only survive through but you can thrive through it, and there's so much goodness and joy. And so I love hearing that. So thank you. I'm glad you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Always say, don't read this on an airplane or by the pool, because you'll be you might find moments where you're crying and then people are gonna look at you. That's the only bad feedback I've got where someone's like, never read this on a plane when you're stuck beside strangers.

Robin l Oh, my goodness. Oh, I just like, so I've told so many people about it, and I've talked to my best friends about it, my boyfriend about it, and like, just told your story to just like, there's so much in here. Jess, so your book, your book is called, Bring The Joy, How Following the Nudges of Your Heart leads to an abundant life. And I picked out like there's so many themes, or key themes and lessons in your book. I thought, obviously joy, right? Courage, taking risks, and how important that is. I was talking to my best like one of my best, like one of my best friends, about this last night, about, like, I'm like, I'm interviewing Jessica tomorrow. It's so exciting. And she was like, you know what, Robin like in your life you you have, you do that too. Like, it's about taking risks and and being shown that, like growing growing up with a, like, a father that actually was super he was all about courage and taking risks, like he modeled that to my brothers and I, and so I and you, you gratitude is so much a part of your life and who you are. Like you say, gratitude has become your way of life, in your default setting and and, of course, so much you talk like so much about faith and intuition and nudges, and I think so it's just like those, like, those were the four things that I thought were, like, the key messages and themes in your book. And so like, like, just starting with joy, I want to know, like, have you always been this way, like was joy modeled to you from like, through your parents and growing up like, how like was joy always a setting, like a default setting.

Jessica l I really do think it was, and it's funny because you're not the first person to ask me that question was like, was this always who you were? And I always mean to ask my mom, and be like, mom, can I get asked this question a lot, because, like, you know, you remember bits and pieces of your childhood, but like, was it always like this, what I know to be true, and when I look back and reflect, I think the way that I exude joy and live out joy is the most fully alive and brightest that I've ever lived now. I mean, you turn 40, and in your 30's, I learned to stop giving a flying F what everybody else thought. And it's taken me a long time. I didn't just arrive here, like it didn't just happen overnight. This is like, a lot of work, a lot of therapy, a lot of journaling, 

Robin l Yeah

Jessica l But I'm living joy out loud, really, really well. I think I had these moments of joy, and now, like I've stepped into the most authentic version, and I'm not watering myself down to make other people comfortable. But growing up, I was always, I would say, very positive, optimistic person, but I've definitely seen it tenfold, 10x and really become like what I'm known for.

Robin l Yes, and it's about choosing, choosing joy and and it's there. And you talk about the difference in your book around happiness versus joy. I've never heard the term this is, I love, this term that the joyous, joyful grieving, joyous grieving, like, oh my gosh, and yes, it's possible. Like, but I was like, wow. Like, I you know what? You know, what I was reflecting on, Jessica, like, is because you like, this is something that you, you share in your book, of course, about your son, Lewiston, and how when he was diagnosed and when he was admitted to palliative care in the hospital, and you and Ronnie looked at each other, your hot Ronnie husband, you talked about, how you you after the shock, after it, everything had worn off. You were like, okay, this is it. We are going to do this intentionally. We are going to make joy. We're going to we're going to celebrate our son and bring joy to the rest of his to his life, how it could be limited, but we are going to make sure that that is, that is what we're going to do. It's going to be we're going to celebrate the joy that we have with the days that he has with us, and people that come in this room. We are gonna like, like you are people that we're gonna welcome you in this room to see us and celebrate us and celebrate our son, but you have to be in the spirit of joy.

Jessica l Yes, totally. And it's funny, I just ran into a speaker friend of mine. We were at our masterclass together, and she goes, but really, like, did you actually bring joy while your son was in the hospital. Like, I was like, yeah.

Robin l Yes, you did.

Jessica l I was like, and she goes, and she kind of like, almost looked like, and not in an offensive way, but almost like in disgust and in this like, question and curiosity. Like, how the hell did you do that? Like you wanted a baby. You have this baby, it's there, and all of a sudden the doctors are like, JK. Hey, like, your kid's not gonna live. And I was able to provide her examples of it, and she just started sobbing. She was like, oh, like, you really did it. And I was like, Yeah, we really did it. And I'm like, we couldn't change the circumstance. We couldn't leave the four walls. I mean, we could have, but I would have, was way too scared. I wanted, you know, full time medical help, and I wanted to know that we had a team in case of crisis, and so we couldn't leave the walls of the four hospitals. So the only thing that was in my control was my response. It was my husband's response. Was how we showed up, and that was such a pivotal moment for our family. And I just go back to that where it's like, okay, I would not choose a global pandemic and having to remortgage my house, but what's gonna  my response going to be okay. I wouldn't choose this hard thing that my daughter's walking through like, you know, with a learning disability, okay, okay, this is it. If this is happening, what am I in control of? And I think when you start to stop focusing on what you can control and focus on what you can control, that's the shift. That's where joy lies.

Robin l I completely agree. I just I love it. I really do. So page 12 in your book, I've got so many dog ears. I've got so many dog ears. 

Jessica l I love it.

Robin l I just have it so much. So you say, if you take just one thing away from this book, I want it to be this, learn to follow the promptings and whispers of your heart. Learn to listen to those nudges. They're there for a reason. My prayer is that you will rise up and go after whatever that nudge might be. Oh, this is good. Jess, stop answering how you're doing with busy. I'm so busy. Oh my gosh. How many of us do that right, or have done that? This is so good. Busyness is not the state of your heart. Busyness is a byproduct of how you planned or didn't plan your day, week or year. You have breath in your lungs and a beating heart. You have dreams and goals and ideas that are too good to slip away. I hope my story encourages you to wake up, pay attention and get going. So it's about following the nudges, following your intuition, like having faith and just taking those steps. So what like, you know, there's, there's a lot in your book around the nudges that you followed, right, even from the from the from you moving like two provinces over when you're 22 right with like, a couple 100 bucks. Like, you're just like, you know, your parents dropped you off, and you're like, oh shit, I don't have a I don't have a job. Like, what am I gonna do? I don't know, but you did it, right? So what would you say are, like, the significant nudge, the nudges that you that you followed, that, you know, there are so many, but like that you that you were like, Okay, this, this is what led me here. This is what led me here.

Jessica l I think you identified the very first one was to move, and it didn't make sense to anyone, because I had a great career. I was advancing with the company that I was with. I was, you know, breaking records, always top five in sales and quickly climbing up through management. So none of this made sense, but I had a nudge to try something new. And I think we often live our life by it trying to make sense to other people and and even when it doesn't make sense to us, you're like, why would I go do that thing that I had, like this nudge in my heart when, like, on piece of a piece of paper or in a, you know, a spreadsheet, it all comes together. And so that was a massive nudge. Was just to do this thing different, and I needed that to spread my wings. I always talk, and this was the whole reason why I wrote the book. It was never to share Lewiston's story. I started writing this book in 2013-2014 because I recognized all the nudges I had followed, and a big one was pursuing my husband. None of our relationship made sense. Like the guy was a heavy drug user, a recovering alcoholic, like, had never gone to church. I thought he was a pompous asshole. Like it just like, I mean, he was super hot. He had a great body, a good tan.

Robin l Yeah you guys had tanning competitions, yeah

Jessica l Yeah right. But like, my life partner, like that, just didn't seem to add up. But I just don't kept on having this nudge, like, go, be this guy's friend. And the more I spent time with him, the more I fell in love, and I was the one that confessed my undying love to him, and it was nudged. And I was just like, man, this doesn't make sense. Like, why am I so drawn to this person? And what I would say is, I feel so fortunate and blessed. Like, I think you can marry anybody. You can make any marriage work, because that is a decision and a choice that you make daily, hourly, by the minute some days. But I really do feel like I got to marry my soulmate, which is a very rare thing. I don't think everyone finds that. And so I realized what a blessing that is. So that was a huge nudge and a huge decision for me. The kids that I decided to go and just serve their family, they had, I met a family in church, and they had two children with spinal muscular atrophy at the time knew nothing about it. They changed my whole world. I remember the first moment sitting in my car after I had shown up and, you know, hung out with these kids for eight hours. They were both in wheelchairs, needed help to go to the washroom, and they couldn't walk places, and so just playing and interacting with them. I remember sitting in my car. I was 23 at the time, being like, I don't think in 23 years I've ever been like, wow I'm so glad I have legs that I don't even think about they just do what I need them to do, 

Robin l Yeah

Jessica l If anything I'd spent so many years of my teens, in my early 20s being like, Oh, my legs are so fat. There's so much cellulite. There's so

Robin l Oh my gosh. It's just so right, oh my god. Jessica. Like, just think about that, right? How many how many hours, how many like, like, just say, combination of years you think you're thinking about, like, body shaming yourself. 

Jessica l Yes

Robin l And it's like, instead of looking outside yourself at what, actually, it's that place of gratitude and that appreciation and accept, like, wow,

Jessica l Yeah, yeah, yeah. That that moment,

Robin l Oh my God

Jessica l Like the exact my car, and I remember grabbing, like the door handle. I remember the exact color, and then it was sunny, and there was like speckles of dust, like, it's so vivid. And then I just remember I couldn't back out of their driveway because I was sobbing uncontrollably, because I felt guilt, and then I felt gratitude. And like you can have it can be both and

Robin l All of it, yes  both and, like you said, you can be joyously grieving, like it's like both. And I so I that I just want to, like, talk a little bit more about that, that amazing, that miracle, that you were, how this even happened, right? Because you tell him the story about how I think it was your mentor. He said to you, like you're in between jobs, right? You're at and you say, he says, well, Jessica, what wouldn't you do. Okay, like you could do many, many things, but what wouldn't you do? And you said out loud, well, the last thing I want to do is take care of a disabled person, something like that, right? 

Jessica l I said, and I wrote these words because I wanted 

Robin l You wrote it. 

Jessica l I've never someone's never punched me in the face, but I was like, judge away. But I also want to humanize that we can say to come back from it and we can learn from it. But I said I'd never want to work with handicapped kids because they discust me. Those were the exact words. And I should be shocked for saying that. It's a horrible thing to say.

Robin l Yeah but no, but it was a, it was like a week later that here you are in church, and you go to the Sunday school, and you see this little boy in a wheelchair, and he was, there's kids playing around him, and he just, you could see that he felt left out like, this sucks, right? And you're and you walk over to him and said, like, you know, can I help you? Like, like, you want to play with these kids, like, I could roll you around, I'll be here. Like, I could be, like, we'll do this. And you said, it was like, this, this beautiful experience of just getting to know this, this, this little person and and, and then later, you roll him to meet his parents and say, like, I really want to meet your parents. And they and they pull up and they've got their other daughter is in a wheelchair, so two children with spinal muscular atrophy. And then you start taking and then, and then you ask them this. You say, How can I help you like? Can I help you like? And and they're like, well, it just so happens, right, that our nanny is just is no longer available to help us. She just quit, and she had to do and you're like, well, I can help you. So, like, this is what we're talking about here. Is like, how beautiful the world, the universe works. You were there for that reason. You were you were meant to take care of, like, meet that little boy and take care and learn about spinal muscle, meet these beautiful people, and then, of course, later you have a son with that same condition. 

Jessica l 9 years later

Robin l I  mean, come on.

Jessica l Oh, and, and, I think it's like one in a million, like, just like the chances all of it happening and how it all unfilled unfolded. And that's why I also say I'm like, I definitely feel like I got a memo fax from God being like, this is your calling. Go do the thing like, 

Robin l Yes you can't ignore it Jessica, like, this is, I think that is the thing, right. So I don't know, my mind is blown by the miracles in life, like, very often, and it makes me think, okay, like, That's fate. Like that was meant to be, right? And then there's the choices like, so what you're helping people do is follow those nudges. Because I believe that there, there's fate, there's there's things that are meant to happen to us. People were meant to meet along our path in our lives. And the more that we follow those nudges, it's like, the faster we're going to get there. Do you believe that?

Jessica l I do, and I think that's like, why I encourage people to like, like, pay attention, and not only pay attention to this stuff that's pulling at your heart, you have to take action on it, because, I mean a lot of crazy ideas and things where I haven't taken action on it. And. And now I'm looking back and like, oh, I wonder what I'm missing. Or I'm wondering, like, what would have happened had I and you hear, I mean, they talk about the Regrets of the Dying, and people saying, I wish it would have taken more risks, like those things, where it's like, I wish it would have done the thing that I always wanted to do, but I played it safe. And so I love sharing my stories, because it hasn't always worked out for me,

Robin l No  

Jessica l Nor has it made it easy, but the fullness and the abundance in which I get to experience, like, that's the game changer piece.

Robin l Yes. And so they're like, one of the things that you just talked about, hot Ronnie, right, your husband, and how you professed your love, like your love story is something else, right? I mean, it's a story. I mean, like, there's a heck, like, and you're married. I mean, come on, marriage isn't easy. But this, I just thought, like, holy shit, Jess, what's gonna happen here? Because you, like, three times, like, three strikes, you talk about how, like, you just kept and he and he kept saying, no, like, I just, I only see you as a friend, but you were so persistent Jessica.

Jessica l I am

Robin l Like, so, like, talk about that, please. Because it was like, you were like, you were not giving up. And I think I my best friend and I were like, oh my god, I can't believe she did it three times. Like, what the heck? Something in you was just like, like, not giving up.

Jessica l Well, this is the part where, I mean my husband and I, we my daughter loves our love story like she and she's almost 10, so she loves hearing about it.

Robin l Yeah

Jessica l And we were actually talking about it this summer, one of my crazy goals and dreams, and that was originally how the book was meant to be, but, and now if you see all of the cross points in my story with my husband, from, actually, when we were babies, to where we are today. Like, it's it, it's totally destiny and fate that we were meant to meet. It just was a matter of when, because he grew up in Winnipeg at a horse track that was 11 minutes from my parents farm that I would have gone to with our neighbor. Like, just some like, really, 

Robin l Wow

Jessica l It's insane. So we're telling this to our daughter, and we're like, we want to make this into a movie, like a Nicholas Sparks, type, like, you know, like,

Robin l Oh my gosh, yes. Like a notebook, but like, Yes, I love it, yeah.

Jessica l Calling and claiming and manifesting and putting that out to universe and asking God,

Robin l I love it 

Jessica l Praying about it, but that, that's one of the goals. So stay tuned for that. But I think for me, it was, I didn't I like my husband at the time, I thought he was, like, I said, a stuck up asshole, kind of pompous, like he he knows he's good looking, like he's not an ugly person. So he had this, like, air, like he had this air about him, know what I mean, like, where he was just like

Robin l He's confident. He knows he's, he knows he's, you know, he's hot, right?

Jessica l He takes. So, like, you can't deny that. But for me, it was I had this unwavering gut feel my body, that this was my person, and I just remember continuing to pray on it. And I look back at my journals from the time when I was like, with my Costa Rican lover, and then all of a sudden, hot Ronnie and I start hanging out, and I'm like, I have this Costa Rican lover, but now I'm falling in love with you. And oh my gosh, how am I gonna make this all work? And it just was like, when I confess that I knew that he was holding something back, like, you know, when you can just tell someone's like, not saying the full thing, and you're like, there's more to this than, like, what you're leading on, 

Robin l Yes 

Jessica l And I think I have that really good read and intuition on people, and so I I think that's what kept me going. And thankfully, we were able to come and it was like this wrestle, like this push and pull, and every time that I would, like, lean into him, he would totally pull back. But then I think he realized, like, what I did, and what makes us so great now is that we both are trying to pull out the best in each other. Like, yes, he lives with my faults. Yes, like, I'm an asshole to live with a lot of the time, and I'm like, super anal about how the dishes get put and the dishwasher gets loaded and how the linens get rolled and all of these crazy things. But he doesn't see all my faults. He sees the best parts of me, and I think that's what I saw when he was in a really dark time, and all he could see was his fault, and his biggest thing in that was he couldn't love himself. So he was like, how can I love and take care of somebody? And the scariest part about like, living a life with me is I'm neurodivergent, so my approach and how I do things is very different, and I'm constantly seeking dopamine. So my dreams are like, I'm like, we're gonna win an Academy Award. This is gonna be the best selling Netflix people like, are like, looking at me like, I'm an alien, you know, trying to land on Jupiter. I'm like, oh, no, this is possible. And for many people, that's exhausting and terrifying. And so he's learned to, like, love me through my crazy dreams and expectations. And I just had so much fun with him, and we grew this deep friendship that I was like, oh, this is somebody that I just picture, like I want to grow old with because, like, we're gonna have a lot of fun along the way, and it's taken a lot of fucking work. Pardon the F sharp, and there's been many times where I'm like, I don't know if we can stick this out, but deep in my gut, because one of us has fought for our relationship when the other person hasn't had the energy or strength we've been able to weather the storms. And so it's been a beautiful, hard, crazy journey, and I'm so grateful I get to do it with him. 

Robin l Oh I just think that's just, just awesome. You, there's you talk about, obviously, it's just, it's, it's a lot of work to be in a relationship and make it work. And you've how you came together is, like, just, I love that story, but it's staying together, right? Like, you talk about how, like, I think it was, you know, you'd gone on a trip, you'd overspent. You guys are, like, in debt, and you're like, and then all of a sudden, you know, there's a flood in your house or electric something, $10,000 bill. Like, you're like, you can't pay this, right? And you're like, okay, that's it. It was your first year in marriage, right? That's it we're done. But then it was like, you decided at at that time to be, like, we have to be stubborn in love. Like, what really is the biggest problem here is it the finances? No, there's bigger like that you can deal with together, right? 

Jessica l Yeah

Robin l But it's deciding that no matter what we could we're going to do this together. And then you took, you took a marriage conference, right Jess,?

Jessica l Oh that was huge. And I think there's this piece about, like, when you realize that, like, a great marriage isn't always being great, but a great marriage is finding somebody who you are really good at problem solving with. Like, that was the shift for me 

Robin l Yes. 

Jessica l And I remember my mentor gave me that advice. He said, find somebody that you're good at solving problems with. And I think about that even just in your own life, it's like you can make so much peace when you just start to know that, like, living life is a lot of just, like problem solving and unfolding in that so that, like, now when we come up against something hard, we're not mad at the hard thing. We're just in a state of like, oh, this fucking sucks. Okay, well, we gotta figure it out, and not being mad at each other, and not trying to question the why. Sometimes, I think you have to unpack that. Sometimes, like, Why did my kid die? I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever get the answer. So we don't stay stuck in the why. We're really good at moving into, and I talk about a lot from the stage about this is about moving into what's the so now what? And you define that. And so when we went in to this marriage conference, I again, put our bank account, if you get the theme here, I'm not very good with money, so that has been an issue in our marriage. If you can't figure that out yet, but I put our bank account into overdraft without asking for his permission, I just went and did it, booked these tickets, got my mom to fly in. But what the marriage conference did was it allowed us to get into a space where we could talk about the hard things that we weren't ever talking about, or we kept dancing around. And a lot of it was miscommunication, and a lot of it was like, just because you said this, and I feel like it means that, and I think that's why people have problems in relationships. It's like, we had this epic blow up two and a half years ago, and I remember because we've done so much work in therapy and we have the tools, but I remember being like, okay, I'm gonna take accountability for the shit that was like, this was Jessica's problem, Jessica's fault. Jessica caused this. But also there's, like, a bunch of shit that you're projecting on me that's unhealed trauma, unhealed damage, unhealed wounds, that you're now making it my problem when it has nothing to do with me. And so I could step back and see that, like he didn't have the tools, and he didn't like work through that. And so, I mean, I love giving Ronnie props, and I hope this encourages more people, but he did two years of EMDR therapy almost every two weeks like clockwork with his therapist, because he had had so much trauma and major wounds. And we're different couple because of it, and we fight different we laugh more often now we don't snap on each other, and that was a massive shift for us. When you can go, oh, that person's not trying to be a dick, and they don't love me. They're just really hurting, or they're burnt out, or they communicate, or this has nothing to do with me, but because I'm their safe place, they're taking it out on me. 

Robin l You're recognizing and honoring each other's wounds, right? That that that like, you know, it's like, it's kind of like, think about a scar. It's like that wound is there, and it's like it's healed, but it's still there. And so it's like not poking at that wound and having an action, having a lot of compassion around that too. It's a totally different perspective. The other thing I really, I think about is like giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, which I think is so hard to do, but when you actually, when you actually settle into that, like, it's like, that is a that's a perspective shift too.

Jessica l I mean perspective shift in itself and anything it's like, that's about like reframing your thoughts. That's. about having a different perspective on a situation that's really tough, that changes. I mean, I talk about that changes the posture of your heart. You want to access more joy, more love, deeper love, like shift your perspective. And I mean, I think I have an abundance of grace for people, and I never believe that people are out to be malicious and be dicks. I mean, yes, there are those people out there, but I believe the best. And sometimes I'm like, oh, man, I wonder what hurt that person's walking through that's causing them to have that behavior, or that's, that's, you know, that's giving them the tools to talk that way. And when you extend that grace to other people being like, ah, I bet you they're walking through something tough. And I learned that lesson because people the day of my son's diagnosis kind of brushed me off. And I was like, man, they have no clue that I just sat in a doctor's office that gave me a death sentence, and it's like, I looked fine. I had makeup on, I had carried myself well together. I wasn't disheveled. I looked like this and so how could that person have any idea the depth of hurt and scaredness and fear and everything else that I was walking through. And so it's very easy for me to just go into position of, like, man, they could have just come from a doctor's office with a death sentence. So like, I'm just gonna love on them and extend grace and compassion. 

Robin l Oh my goodness that is just amazing. So Jessica, you're a motivational speaker. So what is it that you are like when you're on stage and you're you're doing all these like, like, what is it that you're saying like that, you know, I mean, I've read, I've read your book and, I mean, we're getting this opportunity to talk, but I want to know more about that.

Jessica l So my battle cry, and the biggest thing that I want people to take away from any time I share on stage, whether it's to global leaders in, you know, a corporate company where, you know, like here's our global mission and we need to be profitable, or it's to a women's wellness retreat, is that joy is the way through and that I have a blueprint for how you can be your most resilient self. And you access resiliency, you have access to joy like that's it. And so whether you're a global leader of a company with 38,000 people, or you're a stay at home mom, I have this blueprint and framework around resiliency, which is about setting a clear vision, showing up with this relentless belief and taking consistent action. And you can apply that in your business, you can apply that professionally. You can provide you can apply that personally. But when you are faced with hard things, when you have set a goal, and inevitably, you're going to have roadblocks and hurdles and things aren't going to go the way that you want, you go back to that blueprint, and you can navigate anything. And I don't want people just to survive anymore. I want people to find a way to thrive through anything, and I've found that. So it's like, take me as an example, use this blueprint, and then go crush it and make the most of what you're gifted. 

Robin l That's amazing. So you talked about writing a second book. Is that what you're working on?

Jessica l Yes, I wish I could be like, Yes, I'm all the way, done the frameworks done the frameworks, done. We've pitched it to some publishers. We haven't had any bytes yet, and a part of me is just like, okay, maybe I'm just going to self publish this next book. So I'm in that flux, but I I would hope that would come out in the next year or two, that this publishing cycle is quite long actually, so I'd have to hustle my buns, but I'm also trying to keep the lights on and do all these other things. And I'm neurodivergent, so I have eight projects happening at once. So my hope is, is that I carve out some time to put it out, because I love being able to communicate in that way for other people to hear my stories.

Robin l Yeah, something that you had repeated in your book and talked about, Is your goal to become a C. You wanted to be a CEO, right? So you moved, you moved to Calgary. You're hustling. You get, you know, great job at Spitz. I love the fact that, like all these companies you worked for, like, I we know these companies, right? Like, we're Calgary girls, it's like, so great. And then you met hot Ronnie at JUGO Juice and all these things. But like, so here you are. It's like, this is the other thing about God's plan, right? And how here you are now you are, you are a CEO like you. You started the Lewiston Lewis and foundation, and you've raised, like, almost a million dollars for for people with S, 

Jessica l 2 point 5 million.

Robin l 2..5 Million well in the book, it was 700,000 right? And now it's 2.5 million. My goodness, Jessica, and you are a CEO of of a company of a nonprofit that you started. So I just, I just, that was the other just amazing reminder, when I read your book, and I've, you know, learned your story is how it's like you think it's going to be of this corporation, this company, right? But here you are, you are a CEO of a not for profit that you for a foundation after like your son's death, and how you have been able to transform all of that into something that is serving so many people in this world. So how beautiful is that? Right? That you would never know that that was God's plan for you, that losing your son would lead to you serving so many people in this world. I just think there's just so beautiful.

Jessica l And that's I thank you for throwing that in and calling it out. And my hope is, is that, like we have these visions for life, like I had this clear vision when I was a little girl. I wanted to be a CEO, I wanted to be important. I wanted to wear high heels, I wanted to be on planes, and I wanted to be speaking on stages and pumping people up. And what I am is, I'm the CEO of my own business. I run a nonprofit that we founded that's raised over $2.5 million that's changed healthcare. And I in my head, I had it a certain way. Now, when I'm living out, no, I was never like, I'm gonna run a charity, and I've always wanted to be a speaker, but in, I didn't think that it would unfold this way. And so in, if you're listening to this, I would encourage you that, like, if it hasn't worked out the way that you thought, don't expect that it can't work out. I think it'll be even better than you pictured. And so

Robin l You can't imagine, you can't even imagine the goodness that it's in store. You just because, because the infinite possibilities that haven't even been it's right. Oh, really, it is. It is so the other, the other, I think as I get older and just like, now I'm living it, 

Jessica l Yeah 

Robin l It's, it's no longer about me. It's not about me, it's not about like. That's not my motivation, right? My motivation is, how can I serve? How can I help like, that's really like and and through that, you are going to grow, you are going to be given back, so much like one of the other themes about your book, too. Jess, you talk about receiving and how like your your default setting was always giving, coming from a place of generosity, right? And it was when you settled into also being a vessel for receiving. It's like, that is so important for the people in this world and people that are listening. I'm surrounded by generous people, but we have a hard time receiving, and there has to be that balance, right? And how, when your son was sick and he was in the hospital, and you were like, Okay, people want to give. People want to be there, and they want to be there for you, and you had to be in that place of receiving as well. That was a great lesson, wasn't it, Jessica?

Jessica l It's so huge. And I mean, there's two quotes that stick out for me. One is, it's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. And people isn't that good?

Robin l Yeah I like that.

Jessica l That and that, that is it, because I think we burn out, we get exhausted, and we forget to take care of ourselves, but we also forget to receive. And I think especially as women, and whether you're corporate or your mom, it's like you don't want to look like you're not capable. And it's like, well, no, I can, I can take it all. And my husband's now embarrassed about how much I ask for help. Like, I'll jump on social media. That's like, my platform and choice. I'll jump on Instagram. be like, who can help me build a grill on red Street? Can you come to my house tomorrow? I'll make you

Robin l OMG like 20 people are like, I'll help you, right?

Jessica l But there was shame in that, that it was like, oh, well, I'm not how do I not know how to build out a Google spreadsheet? Or, how do I how am I not good at this? And what I realize is like that was holding me back from leveling up. It was holding me back from feeling like I could flow. It from being on my front foot rather than always being on the back foot, feeling behind and and I am constantly asking for help. And it's such a powerful place. And I love, I absolutely love being able to serve and show up and give people goodness, and it was really hard for me to learn to accept. So I always tell people, if you are in a season, go and give, but if you're also in a season where you have to receive, be okay with it. It doesn't make you less than it doesn't mean you're not worthy. It doesn't mean that you're not capable. It just means that you're smart enough to keep going and to be able to have the energy to sustain. And I think that was the magic in us having so much energy and bringing the joy to our son's life. Was I had friends bringing me green juice. I had strangers making salads with homemade salad dresses. We had people coming to work out with us in the hospice because we couldn't get to the gym. And we're like, hey, this is what we need help with. And people are like, I'm a fitness instructor. I can come and do teach a boxing class. Hey, I love making salads. Hey, I'll bake gluten free muffins. Hey, I'll bring you a green juice. And like a lot of the people were complete freaking strangers. 

Robin l Yes

Jessica l It was wonder, but you got to see the best in people like I

Robin l Yes

Jessica l Endless evidence of it. 

Robin l Oh of course you do. I want to read one more quote from your book, because this is where I cried. I cried, oh my gosh. I'm bawling my eyes out. my daughter, Sadie walks in she's like, Mom, are you okay? I'm like, Oh my gosh, because you were so dedicated to bringing the joy. I mean, just just a little side note to all this, right Jess is that you, you know, you would put on the fun, the glasses with the big nose. And when that, when the doctors and nurses doing rounds, you're like, okay, yes, after we talk about the medical jargon around what's going on with with Lewiston, we're gonna do a dance party, and then you'd put on, you know, and you'd all

Jessica l JT 

Robin l Exactly, and you would all dance and how you changed the environment to celebrate, like, celebrate your son and bring the joy. It's just like, I just, I just love it so much. Okay, this is on page 171 I have dog eared  like a highlight at the top of this page, it says, what a moment when we this is after you, after your son had died, and you said, I carried him. You were walking out of the hospital, I carried him and held him tight. We came down the elevator, and at the bottom of the stairs was the entire staff from the hospice, including the chef and the cleaning staff. They stood in a semi circle and saluted us in their own way. It was one of the most moving moments of lewiston's journey, the simple act of standing still and honoring a life, a tribute to our little lion. I was a proud mama that day his roar was big, his legacy now even bigger. Like, oh my goodness, Jessica, the fact that you made such a difference in all those people's lives. You know, through your son's life, it's just tremendous. So that was just beautiful. So I just want to thank you for what you wrote and what you're doing, because I just think it's very powerful and important. So

Jessica l I hadn't thought about that moment, but it just goes to show you the power of community. And it's like, sometimes 

Robin l Yes

Jessica l You don't do anything, but you just have to take the action or the act of like, I'm just going to stand with you. I'm just going to hold space for you. Like no one could solve the problem or the hurt, but they if everyone would have rushed about and continued on their day, I think it would have felt like it didn't matter. But when people just stood behind us and stood with you, like that's where you know, Dr Joy Carrington talks about this, but like we felt seen, we felt like lewiston's life mattered. It was short. It wasn't as long as I would have hoped, being his mom. But like we felt like we were seen and mattered, and that he was worthy, and that was just an act of people standing in silence for two or three minutes. Like, what a powerful gesture. It's like, we don't have to change the world. You can sometimes just stand alongside somebody.

Robin l Yes but I can. I can picture that happening, and just how profound, because you're just and what that is is just like, love, right? It's a demonstration of love and just like, Thank God for that. So 

Jessica l Yes

Robin l Thank you. Jessica Janzen

Jessica l Thank you.

Robin l I'm going to end our just our little chat, with a blessing, because we do that at the end of each podcast, and this blessing is really based on on your words from your book. So may we all find our vision, especially during trying seasons. Without it, we would wither. Having vision is life giving and vital in order to experience a life of unmitigated joy. May we remember that resiliency means that you're honest with yourself about all your feelings and that you're also ferociously seeking moments of joy and beauty amidst the darkness, grieving and joy can coexist. And may we live a life of service to one another. May we give love from abundance versus lack or obligation in doing so we bring joy to the world, and I know you bring so much joy to this world. Jessica, so thank you.

Jessica l Thank you. I thank you for that blessing, and I hope those words resonate with someone and just shift the posture of their heart and that people will seek out joy ferociously, relentlessly, with nothing holding them back, because it is such a blessing to be able to live in that zone. 

Robin l It really is. It really is one of my, the one of my core ways of being. And my friends know this about me. It's like, create joy like we are we're like, speaking the same language, like, Absolutely so 

Jessica l Love it. Love it.